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Words by Bark

Literature by ravenwritingclaw

Writing by TwilightPoetess

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Submitted on
December 8, 2012
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1.4 KB


44 (who?)
I am a natural lucid dreamer. When I was sick,
I dreamed away whole strings of days that burst
with causal power, as if the sun, shining past
my silted eyelids, had spilled a home behind them.

You watched how well I played that girl:
high heels, sparkle eyes,
sitting on his work desk with my lips curled,
legs crossed, booze at needle length
beneath my skin expelling floral tones,
pectoral blushes.  

I pretended to fall asleep on top of his blankets
so I had access to my concave nest,
a place without his hands on my stomach, no,
and without his mouth on my shoulder.
Now I am not even here
and he doesn't know, not at all.

My respectability besieged
the rest of me when I believed
in being respectable, for,

like a miasma of red night,
pulling up sleep in orange-tasting sinews,

you were born from a nautilus shell
to ensnare the thirst of laughing.

Had you been tossed so far beyond yourself during the night
that you woke up aware that you think about eternity
because it's manifest within you? You feel awake,
so very aware and in awe of your own infinity.

Featured by *julia-caitlin

edit 2.8.2013: finally got around to changing this. I'm fond of it now.
I tried to make it less self-important. This is a big project I'm working on, in lots of my poems.
I had to cut the lines that everybody liked. I'm really sorry and I hate doing that. I just can't stand having "kiss" and "poison" too close together in a poem. The cliche bells ring on and on. I hope you understand

with lots of things needing to be changed.

This actually took me all day. Over eight hours. If only I could apply the same industry to finals...
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orangecloudsraining Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013  Student Writer
the first and last stanzas but especially the last. i know that, i know it.
archelyxs Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013
Oh yes. :hug:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think your poetry is going to give me heart attacks. Or it won't stop until I'm green with pure envy! I feel like I could learn a lot from your writing: It is consumed with such beautiful allusions and metaphors. I... I really want to give you these super long and huge comments to show my appreciation, and also because I want to do that with everyone included within my Poetry Roadtrip. However... your words leave me speechless. I just am in awe. You are severely underappreciated with THIS kind of talent. I am so glad to have the privilege of reading through your works, and I hope with the feature, this piece can perhaps earn some of the recognition it deserves.

My absolute favorite line was: "as if the sun, shining past/my silted eyelids, had spilled a home behind them"
Where to even start? The many implications of someone being touched by warmth, perhaps even for the first time in a while. I just get this happy feeling, but also an incredibly lonely feeling. For someone to feel that as a home or come to that realization... I don't know how to explain it, but I wish I did. It was just beautiful. Absolutely and positively gorgeous.
I want to quote more of my favorite parts of this poem, but I feel that I would pretty much just be quoting the whole entire thing. Please know you are such a lovely writer! It is truly my pleasure to be reading through your lovely works :heart:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013
Thank you so much! Haha this is quite flattering - the pleasure and the privilege is mine, for sure :heart:
AMWeitz Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013  Student Writer
Holy mother of god. I feel as though I have stared into the eye of the infinite.
archelyxs Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013
That is an effect far beyond any I have ever expected to be taken from my work.

If you have stared into the eye of the infinite, I assure you that it is because of your own doing, and I am proud to have played an auxiliary role.

But really. Thank you. :heart: :coffeecup:
AMWeitz Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013  Student Writer
I assure you, it is you that is the...the drug that transported me to the wonderful world within this poem. And besides, if you had expected greatness, perhaps it wouldn't have come to you? ;)

You're very welcome.
archelyxs Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013
I always expect greatness, and I am always disappointed. I think about the fact that Eliot had already started working on Prufrock when he was my age, look down at my page of scribbles, and think to myself, good god, this is it, something greater than (great poem of your choosing) is being born.

It locks me in a perennial state of disappointment. Sometimes I arrive at something decent, and it pleases me.
AMWeitz Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013  Student Writer
I understand. At any rate, THIS is something to be proud of. I promise. :heart:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013
Aww :heart:
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