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Things having to be returned to their transparency:


       i.
       / green mist-earth / knit
        atmosphere / fathomless
        blue-lavender / lights
        spun out from light


        ii.
        are recalcitrance / and you
        are convergence


     & - a fingernail of summer
        - a melting of rain
        - a crown of flowers
        - a priest of sunsets


(beautiful? I love you, because. Zemi.
Zemi. are you beautiful because I love
you? Zemi?                                   )


       iii.
       I imagine this is what it's like to breathe sea foam
       over the Cliffs of Moher: hydration. absolution.
       To Rilke, it's a melody that floods over us
       when we have forgotten how to listen for it.
       I never could forget this: for how could I know
       my hand as both well and chasm? and how could I know
       time, a windstruck dimension, standing in her white street?


       iv.
       We go on morning walks and Zemi
       laughs at everything I say. He


       wears it on a cord
       around his neck when he sleeps:


       my omphalos of rainwater,
       hyacinthine blossom on his chest,
       his bioluminescence tearing on the glass;


       beneath him, the city
       rumbles and the infinite



       v.
       When we go home to zero, what seraphic voice
       will declare so clear our unbecoming?


       The places Zemi has been to, again there
       he will go,


       bipolar god of
       flickering lights,


       saint amid rain
       and incongruence.

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:icondailylitdeviations:
2.10.2013
lotsa more edits, mostly with formatting; ironed out some crinkled areas.
i loved this poem before, but now, god, i can't get enough of it.
is my obsession with it justifiable? is it as good as i think it is?
i want to read this forever.

reread the duino elegies; lots of rilke; had to re-edit.

.

9.18.2012
lotsa edits; fixed the ending

Another DLD!? Yayy!
dailylitdeviations.deviantart....
Thanks so much to *beeinthebottle for suggesting and `thetaoofchaos for featuring!!

.

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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I feel like I'm lost in the ocean of your words, and when I come up to take a breath, I am beaten back down by yet more waves and tsunamis of all of the lovely things working in this poem. I think you are completely justified in your obsession, because I'm pretty obsessed with this, too! I'm glad to see it got a DLD and a few features: It is so beautiful and deserving!

i and ii are my favorites, I think: There is so many beautiful things at work, often unexpected or completely reinvented. I love how you reinvent the "standards" of poetry. I'm so used to seeing people stay within certain lines, but you are not afraid to break them and do such lovely things (a prime example of this definitely would be those two segments).

I was interested, though, in the word "Zemi." Is it a name? Or something different? It just managed to peak my curiosity, so I thought I'd ask!
I’m sorry I have no words. I’m still speechless, pretty much. I tried to find some appropriate words, but they still seem inadequate.
Reply
:iconwordeea:
wordeea Featured By Owner May 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You have been featured in my journal [link] :sun:
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner May 11, 2013
Thank you!
Reply
:iconpomohippie7:
pomohippie7 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013   Writer
Your wonderful work has been showcased here, dear: [link]
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013
Thanks so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconscatteredwords:
scatteredwords Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
So, I realize that you received a DLD on this, but I featured it anyway. [link]
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2013
Thanks so much, it's an honor :heart:
Reply
:iconscatteredwords:
scatteredwords Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's well deserved. :huggle:
Reply
:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
& - a fingernail of summer
- a melting of rain
- a crown of flowers
- a priest of sunsets
I don't know why, but there's something about this that just makes the poem beautifully delicious to read! :love:

Kudos! :clap:
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013
Thank you so much! I agree. I think this is the most satisfying part of the poem. :heart:
Reply
:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle:
Reply
:iconhazeltown:
hazeltown Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
perfect.
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013
:heart: :coffeecup:
Reply
:iconadagiobunny:
Adagiobunny Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013  Student Writer
forever in love with your delectable vocabulary! you never fail to introduce new words to my wanting brain.

the flow, the images, the feel of this is beautiful.
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013
Thank you so much, love :heart:
Reply
:iconadagiobunny:
Adagiobunny Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013  Student Writer
most welcome. :)
Reply
:iconv-espertine:
v-espertine Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013
who is / what is a zemi?
i think i need to know about these things. i think your poem needs them
and i think you have to get to the cliffs of moher someday. like what you imagine
except it keeps whatever usually gets left behind when you imagine something. <3
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013
That is a good question. I have no fucking idea! I'm sorry!
That's a really beautiful description, love. I'm trying to get over there soon (next year, hopefully?).

Thanks, always. :heart:
Reply
:iconv-espertine:
v-espertine Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013
certainly. <3
Reply
:iconhyperfluxy:
hyperfluxy Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013   Writer
Christ-

"When we go home to zero"

that is so on point and the entire
evolution of this poem has been so beautiful,

i remember how it was before and it is so spectacular now with what you have done with it, not more or less, but different and complementary. you are a true marvel to behold.
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013
Thanks so much, love, for your amazing support. You are incredible. :heart: :hug:
Reply
:iconbreathingglassstars:
breathingglassstars Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013   Writer
oh, this is truly magnificent ♥
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013
You're the sweetest! :hug:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your language....:heart:
This is so gorgeous, ma'am.
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013
Thank you, love :heart:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013   Writer
Gorgeous imagery!
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013
Thanks! (:
Reply
:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013   Writer
:)
Reply
:iconsalmonella-poisoned:
salmonella-poisoned Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
your writing blows me away every time. it's a joy
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013
D'awww :heart:
Reply
:iconsheraine:
sheraine Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013
i still like the very first version the best...
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013
Really? I strongly disagree, but thanks as always for your attention :heart:
Reply
:iconsilvernium:
silvernium Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yes. Just yes.
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013
:D
Reply
:iconhemvagen:
hemvagen Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013   General Artist
such gorgeous words! i found myself reading parts of this aloud so i could taste the syllables on my tongue.

im curious - what was your inspiration for this piece?
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
Thank you! I'm glad you read it aloud - that's the way that poetry is meant to be!

That is a good question; I'm trying to remember!
I drafted the first three sections after seeing Amanda Palmer in concert, and maybe a little bit stoned. These were edited over the next couple of days. The last two sections came after wandering around NYC until 7am with someone I had a crush on. I don't know who Zemi is, still working that out.

So I guess that's it. Live music, being disoriented and with a foolish crush? I reeeally wish I could give a better answer because that makes it sound so lame. I had been reading a lot of Creeley so I was interested in the ways that words and phrases could function in a work that was stripped down to its core. The original draft was even more nonsensical, if you could imagine. Thank you for the question! :coffeecup:
Reply
:iconhemvagen:
hemvagen Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013   General Artist
i agree with you there! (my favorite poem to read aloud is narcissus by thomas disch - have you heard of it? it's gorgeous)

and i think that's plenty interesting! any story of inspiration is fascinating to me. :)

thank YOU for the answer! ;)
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
*scuttles off to find it!*
Reply
:iconhemvagen:
hemvagen Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013   General Artist
oh yes do so - SUCH an excellent poem.
Reply
:iconhyperfluxy:
hyperfluxy Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013   Writer
Wow, this is incredible, and... how have i not read this?

it makes me feel things that are foreign to me, and that is truly something.

especially love all of iii. just very beautifully executed,
and the ideas, of course... everything. you're brilliant, my friend. <3
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
You make me smile! Thank you ever so much for the kind words... you are beautiful. (: :coffeecup:
Reply
:iconsilvernium:
silvernium Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This has changed since I last read it. There are so many things I could comment on that I really can't.

'Zemi, are you beautiful because I love you'
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012
You must have read it a long time ago! Thanks so much for your feedback... you are terrific. :heart:
Reply
:iconeshyo:
eshyo Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012   Writer
amazing.
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012
Thank you!! (:
Reply
:iconsheraine:
sheraine Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
do you still have the previous version of this poem?
i liked that very much also
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
I have an early version that I think was the first one I posted here? I'll send it to you in a note.

Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconsheraine:
sheraine Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
oooh! yes, that was it. i had forgotten how much i loved it. GAH. thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
Do you like it more than the revised version? If so, why?
(I think the revised version is so much better that I'm curious about what anyone might love about the original. But thanks, of course!) :heart:
Reply
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