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falling asleep with the windows
open, with morning curling
around you like a drop of blue
ink in a glass of water,
turquoise and unwritten;

remembering when early dawn
was a secret you kept
in a soft, aortic pocket—

your dead lighter spinning
to the floor of Lake Ontario,
a halo of its bygone, synergetic flame.
Featured by *0hgravity [link]
:heart:


Fact: I was up all night wandering through your town on Google street view.

Trying to get back into this whole writing thing. Still can't do titles. I miss everyone here. :heart:
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:iconersatz-moon:
ersatz-moon Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"Fact: I was up all night wandering through your town on Google street view."


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:iconorangecloudsraining:
orangecloudsraining Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013  Student Writer
ooh, the ache, the punch. :heart:
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013
:heart:
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:iconlasagnabomb:
lasagnabomb Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013
dawww
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013
:heart:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh goodness, I just love this. The soft vulnerability peeks through lines and words within this piece, a sheen over the pain of loneliness. Your words were sometimes simple, but it conjured such complexity in thought and in emotion! I was inspired and awed by this!
I think my favorite (which is definitely hard to chose, given how it's all just wonderful!) was the second stanza and "... in a glass of water, turquoise and unwritten." The second stanza, itself, is such a lovely image, the metaphor so unique and unexpected that it sparks into your mind like a flame! I think this may be why I appreciated the mention of a lighter in the last stanza so much. As for the last two lines of the first stanza: holy crap. I never would have thought to say that water was unwritten. It's an obvious fact, but one that really gets no thoughts. Then to not only say blue but "turquoise." It was just such a thrill to read over that portion! What lovely, lovely words, and I felt they really sucked you in - like whirlpools - into the rest of the poem :love:
Fantastic job! I also, as a last addition, just loved the title: I felt it added a lot! :rose:
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013
Thank you! I'm glad to hear this; I've been "off" of poetry for a little while and sometimes, you think you're leaving something alone but you don't realize how much you are improving? I chose these words very carefully, and I'm so glad to see that it's appreciated; thank you, dear :heart:
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:iconfoxenbochs:
foxenbochs Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I've struggled with insomnia for a long, long time, and I absolutely love this poem. This is just beautiful. :)
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013
Thank you!
Reply
:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013   Writer
:heart:
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013
:heart::heart::heart:
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:iconthegreatspyexperim:
TheGreatSpyExperim Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Student Writer
The last stanza, I love it. Not sure if it's my imagination overreacting, but I get a powerful sense of depth and isolation. Like the imagery a lot.
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013
I feel you. Thank you, as always :coffeecup:
Reply
:iconmeggie272:
Meggie272 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh man this is amazing. There's a beautiful softness to the first two stanzas and then a darker, deeper image in the last stanza which gives the poem a bit of complexity and contrast. I really like the descriptions of morning and early dawn, they so perfectly describe the intimate, gentle feeling of day's beginnings.
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013
It's so lovely to read this. Thank you :coffeecup:
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:iconlifeofsecreats:
lifeofsecreats Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist
I adore the flow of this poem. It is beautifully executed =]
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
Thank you!
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Featured: [link]

:thumbsup:
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
Thank you so much!!
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
welcome ^^
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:iconriparii:
riparii Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
Oh this is tender and sad.
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
Thank you. :coffeecup:
Reply
:iconbrittlejacks:
brittlejacks Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
Google street view. :heart:

Sometimes I wish I could be a driver for them. I love driving.
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
That would be the dream.

Maybe then I would be better at not getting lost, in my own state, like I did that one time :heart:
Reply
:iconbrittlejacks:
brittlejacks Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013
But it was so perfect the way that it just started lightly snowing in some sleepy town off the interstate. And the weatherboard barns, unpainted and slightly warped. And the serendipitous train!
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013
Spoken like a true poet-optimist! You're pretty much the Australian version of this: www.emersoncentral.com/poet.ht...
The next time you visit, come in the spring or summer; it's so much more enjoyable, I promise!
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:iconbrittlejacks:
brittlejacks Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013
I have actually begun thinking about returning next July. I'm getting a second job to help save.
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
beautiful imagery
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
Thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconconsolecadet:
consolecadet Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
Who can do titles? They don't ever come easily.

This is beautiful.
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
Thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:icontuishimi:
Tuishimi Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
My wife is a wonderful artist... but her titles are all like "man fishing #1, man fishing #2"... etc. Cracks me up how she can be so creative and yet her titles are often simply "functional."

Your first stanza reminds me of Summers in New England.
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
Haha, I understand. I've been tempted to just number everything to avoid the issue. Thank you :coffeecup:
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:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
:heart:
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
:heart::heart::heart:
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:iconlancelotprice:
LancelotPrice Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
Get well soon. :)
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
Thank you :heart:
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:iconv-espertine:
v-espertine Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
you do this well, these sleepy moving things <3
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
Thank you dear. :heart:
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:iconsilvernium:
silvernium Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful, I can't sleep right now.
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
Me too! But I have to be awake in five hours... this always happens... :heart:
Reply
:iconinsomia47:
insomia47 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
nice
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
Thank you!
Reply
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